Although scheduled for a limited regional release, the buzz generated from those who have viewed early edits of the nature / adventure epic may demand international distribution of this, the first video production by Anderson, the noted underwater photographer. When asked to comment, Anderson said that he and his partner Bob Laney have tentative plans to take the video on the lecture tour, visiting many venues in central Wilkes County, after which wider release is possible. Similar to the Blues Brothers announcement of the travel schedule for their own music show, Anderson and Laney may expand the distribution of this blockbuster to the tri-state area, and eventually to the Asiatic sub-continent.
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Date: Friday, July 15, 2005, 4 p.m.
Subject: Bonaire DVD Press Release
By: Bob 'Scuba Pro' Laney, star actor and southeastern US regional free lance reporter for the London Times Star Globe
Mr. 'Hollywood:' while some of the more high brow (others may say 'snooty') established organs of the printed press and electronic media view us as a National Enquirer type publication, a mere barnacle on the ship of the Fourth Estate, a bunion on the foot of the communication and advertisement industry, we prefer to say that we provide to the masses the kind of low level information that they are capable of digesting. You know, aliens from Mars spotted at a mall in Atlanta, Elvis returning for a final engagement in Las Vegas, 6-headed elephant found in India, that sort of thing.
Our inquiring readers want to know, should the predicted thumping success of mine and your tour materialize, and should the wide release of your Adventure video come to pass, as anticipated, then:
How do the members of the general public obtain back stage passes? Will there be any limit on the number of groupies in the 'jump seat' of your limousines? And perhaps most importantly, as the presenters of each show make the obligatory toast to your continued success, do you prefer Crystal or Chenin Blanc champagne?
Thanking you in advance for your timely information, I remain, ever your humble servant.
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Date: Friday, July 15, 2005, 5 p.m.
Subject: Bonaire DVD Press Release
By: Paul 'Hollywood' Anderson, videographer, producer and director
Mr. 'Scuba Pro:' passes are available to all members of the press, regardless of journalistic credentials, who agree to write favorable reviews of our DVD. The flocks of groupies that usually follow in Mr. Laney's wake are no longer welcome. Mr. Laney is engaged to be married to the beautiful Ms. Debbie Staley. His fiancee has contracted with the Brushy Mountain Volunteer Fire Department. The Volunteers will be stationed near each screening with fire hoses to 'cool' the ambiance, in case the groupies prove difficult to control. As far as libations are concerned, you should know that all he-man scuba divers only drink Newcastle, Bass Ale or Guinness Stout. Please have a carton of each in my dressing room, cooled but not chilled, to 53 degrees.
